"If women come home from work and take their bras off, their husbands return and look for things they can force up their asses."
There you have a sample of tales David Sedaris heard from fans during his book tours in this short, funny essay from the master of the form.
Looking back at his broke-ass days, Sedaris recalls getting short-shrift in the way of interaction from an author for whom he plunked down hard-earned cash for a book to be signed. He's told this story before, but he returns to it here to explain why he always takes time to engage fans, and is often rewarded with interesting (and bizarre) revelations.
Throughout the tour in question, he was surprised to learn some women jettison their bras as soon as they get home, so he began asking audiences if this was a common habit (spoiler alert: it was). He also repeatedly heard emergency room tales about men coming in with something stuck in their bum, always claiming it was an accident (no surprise if you've ever seen "The Fusilli Jerry" episode of Seinfeld.)
Themes and Variations is a quick, fun read (and free in ebook and audio form right now for Amazon Prime members).
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